You know there have been so many times when I've questioned, "God can you see me? Can you hear me? Are you still here? Why can't I hear you? Why can't I see you working?" Only to find that He's still here speaking softly. I get so distracted by the sounds of the winds and the rain beating against me that it drowns out His voice, but then He tells it all to cease in our intimate times alone. Oh Hallelujah!! I'm learning more and more what it means to praise Him in the storm and just trust Him.
Sometimes I feel like I can relate so well to Jeremiah, the weeping prophet. His message was never received. He was rejected, his messages were rejected and all because God was rejected by the people. I'm reminded so often of Jeremiah 20. Jeremiah, in obedience to God, is prophesying and Pashhur the priest, the chief officer in the house of the LORD --- the house of the Lord now --- doesn't like what he hears so he has Jeremiah arrested, beaten, wipped and put in stocks. Can you imagine what Jeremiah was thinking that whole night?!?! No doubt he was bleeding, in agony and unable to find a position that didn't strain in ever weakening muscles. For a full night he suffered and, no doubt, questioned God's whereabouts. The next day, when Jeremiah was released, you'd think he'd "like his wounds" and get out of there, but notice what He did.
Jeremiah 20:3-6
The next day, when Pashhur finally released him, Jeremiah said, “Pashhur, the LORD has changed your name. From now on you are to be called ‘the Man Who Lives in Terror.’ For this is what the LORD says: I will send terror upon you and all your friends, and you will watch as they are slaughtered by the swords of the enemy. I will hand the people of Judah over to the king of Babylon. He will take them captive to Babylon or run them through with the sword. And I will let your enemies plunder Jerusalem. All the famed treasures of the city—the precious jewels and gold and silver of your kings—will be carried off to Babylon. As for you, Pashhur, you and all your household will go as captives to Babylon. There you will die and be buried, you and all your friends to whom you promised that everything would be all right.”
Can you imagine what Pashur was thinking? I'd like to think that he saw God radiating through that tired and wounded man of God. I'd like to imagine that he felt God's overwhelming conviction, but the fact is, people don't always recognize God's voice. How about Jeremiah? Here he is prophesying with such boldness. There was no time for fear, no time to think "what's going to happen to me after this?" I believe He was so overcome by the presence of God, so saturated in God's anointing that he didn't have time to think about what He was saying, it just came out. Notice what Jeremiah goes on to say.
"O LORD, you persuaded me, and I allowed myself to be persuaded. You are stronger than I am, and you overpowered me. Now I am mocked by everyone in the city. Whenever I speak, the words come out in a violent outburst. “Violence and destruction!” I shout. So these messages from the LORD have made me a household joke. And I can’t stop! If I say I’ll never mention the LORD or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It’s like a fire in my bones! I am weary of holding it in!
I have heard the many rumors about me. They call me “The Man Who Lives in Terror.” And they say, “If you say anything, we will report it.” Even my old friends are watching me, waiting for a fatal slip. “He will trap himself,” they say, “and then we will get our revenge on him.” But the LORD stands beside me like a great warrior. Before him they will stumble. They cannot defeat me. They will be shamed and thoroughly humiliated. Their dishonor will never be forgotten. O LORD Almighty! You know those who are righteous, and you examine the deepest thoughts of hearts and minds. Let me see your vengeance against them, for I have committed my cause to you. Now I will sing out my thanks to the LORD! Praise the LORD! For though I was poor and needy, he delivered me from my oppressors."
Like Jeremiah, we're called to proclaim a message that at times will not be received. We will shed many tears along this journey, but like Jeremiah, when God's presence overpowers us, we have no choice but to proclaim His truth. It's like fire shut up in our bones.
